So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
