escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
