it hurts more in the daytime
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
