what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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