Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
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