listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
