Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize