You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
