I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
