it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
