OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
