id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
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Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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