i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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