Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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