K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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