is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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