That's intense
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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