His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
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For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
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I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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