they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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