You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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