I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
