For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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