My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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