did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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