Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
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Did you bedazzle the elevator?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
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I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
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