yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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