I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
