Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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