i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"