Texts From Last Night

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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.

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  (570): I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet. http://tfl.nu/lza9
  Replies (9) Good night (648) Bad night (1058) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.

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  (508): I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo. http://tfl.nu/92km
  Replies (2) Good night (981) Bad night (423) Order T-Shirt
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...

  (1-954): View more from Florida

  Is this the gay conversation?

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  (954): Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me... (1-954): Is this the gay conversation? http://tfl.nu/4777
  Replies (3) Good night (871) Bad night (1728) Order T-Shirt
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks

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  (252): I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks http://tfl.nu/dbvg
  Replies (21) Good night (1006) Bad night (3276) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?

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  (419): Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie? http://tfl.nu/tj9i
  Replies (83) Good night (6106) Bad night (1985) Order T-Shirt
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.

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  (484): we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song. http://tfl.nu/huqy
  Replies (10) Good night (4563) Bad night (692) Order T-Shirt
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  (806): View more from Texas

  with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.

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  (806): with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible. http://tfl.nu/qot7
  Replies (31) Good night (10043) Bad night (1019) Order T-Shirt
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth

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  (804): you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth http://tfl.nu/ftsz
  Replies (7) Good night (958) Bad night (3692) Order T-Shirt
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.

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  (240): Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present. http://tfl.nu/qzgl
  Replies (9) Good night (4208) Bad night (667)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out

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  (914): I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out http://tfl.nu/ow35
  Replies (11) Good night (1223) Bad night (2322) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  Make me a sandwich

  (301): View more from Maryland

  The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.

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  (845): Make me a sandwich (301): The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich. http://tfl.nu/al2a
  Replies (26) Good night (5904) Bad night (566)
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  (587): View more from Alberta

  Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?

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  (587): Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant? http://tfl.nu/fsev
  Replies (11) Good night (1210) Bad night (1446) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Yea. I'm excited about this party too

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  (770): Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand. (678): Yea. I'm excited about this party too http://tfl.nu/ksx0
  Replies (4) Good night (1815) Bad night (349)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?

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  (919): But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night? http://tfl.nu/eqjw
  Replies (8) Good night (1072) Bad night (304) Order T-Shirt
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.

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  (256): I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though. http://tfl.nu/tmsk
  Replies (1) Good night (663) Bad night (219)

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