was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom