I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
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The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
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dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...