Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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