your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize