All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize