Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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