where am i from again
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
