Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
