love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
