I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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