my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
