Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I want you more than these girls want KFC
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
