we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
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