WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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