He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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