After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
