Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
