Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
