I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
