is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
