ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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