Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
