brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Randomize
