Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
