Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize