Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
