I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
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if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
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I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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