So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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