I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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