im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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